October

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. “When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widower or widow. When parents lose their child there isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defect, SIDS, and other causes.”

Well, here we are again. October has come. For one month it’s slightly more “acceptable” for me to talk about my daughters and stillbirth. Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month is about educating others and remembering & honoring all of the babies gone too soon. Miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss touches more lives than anyone will ever fully get.

Here are some stats for you:

• 1 in 4 women will lose a baby during pregnancy, delivery, or infancy
• 70 babies – a school bus full of children – will be stillborn today
• 1 in 160 pregnancies will end in stillbirth
• 50% of the time, a cause is unknown
• Kick counts aren’t as important as recognizing kick patterns
• The United States loses more babies annually than 28 other nations
• Approximately 2,500 babies die of SIDS every year

I knew nothing when I first got pregnant with Stella and Joy. I knew what miscarriage was and knew people who had one, but I thought after 13 weeks I was safe. I didn’t know about “kick counts”. I didn’t know about patterns and changes and what to look for. I didn’t know. Now I do. Please remember our children who were taken well before their time. Speak their names, light a candle on the 15th, wear pink and blue. Anything you do to show your love and support is noticed and appreciated beyond words.